So I found out I have a small tumor on my pituitary gland (pituitary adenoma). These are very common they say, especially in women. I have a lot of unexplained symptoms so I was relieved to find this out, hoping that this would be the solution. Well, all my bloodwork came back normal and so they say there’s nothing to treat. Great. So I’m stuck with all these symptoms and now I have a tumor. Brilliant. Besides the headaches, probably the most frustrating symptom is my memory. I can’t remember anything. I can’t even remember to write something down to help me remember it. I can’t focus, I’m tired all the time, and I have headaches which make me want to sleep even more. I digress. I had a doctor’s appointment yesterday to review all my MRI’s and I couldn’t even remember what building it was in so I missed my appointment. Beyond frustrating. I can’t even trust myself to do things or remember to write them down so I don’t forget. Do you know how that feels? I feel like an old person going through alzheimer’s or something. I used to be in denial about it but now I know it’s happening. It’s real. I just don’t know what to do at this point.
Yesterday Michael had mentioned that he had given me a new windshield cover thing, or whatever you call them, a while back and I swore up and down that he never gave me one. He even described the design on it and but I don’t remember ever seeing one or the event. I adamantly disagreed with him twice and then before the third “No, you did not” came out, I quickly realized that according to my track record he was probably right and I was probably wrong. I qot quiet and left it at that.
It’s an adjustment. I am scared that it will creep into my business or something important between Michael and I or our family one day. Like God forbid I forget a birthday or our anniversary (thank goodness it’s engraved on the inside of my ring!). It is what it is and I’m probably just exaggerating at this point because it’s still new to me. But I know the Lord will take care of me and that’s what I know for sure.